Halfway

This week I begin the second half of my first semester back at school. It has been challenging and stressful but full of excitement and wonder as I learn new things and surprise myself at how great I can be as a student. The first time didn't go so well. I'm taking 9 units. Listed in order of favorites, I've got Survey of Music Lit & History, Nutrition and Child Development. All interesting topics, one not so interesting teacher, although as the semester progresses I'm more and more amused by her quirks and disorganization. Plus, I've got my lil sis, Stevie in that class with me. Some people may wonder if I'm her mother although I don't think most have put it together that we're related. It's really fun having her with me. On another musical note, I recently emailed Dr. Bowman. He is retired from CSUC music faculty and was my teacher from middle school into college. I did lessons with him during my pregnancy with Cooper and then had to stop when I had the baby because I could no longer swing the heavy(but absolutely worth it) cost of lessons from someone so amazing. Anyhow, I emailed him just to check in and update him on my life. I was really excited for him to know I'd gone back to school. He responded and offered me lessons again. I won't spill the whole story but he is being very generous in giving me lessons and is helping me tremendously in preparing me for auditions into the Sac State music program when I'm able to transfer. My music history professor at ARC, has mentioned a few opportunities to me as well. She leads the orchestra and is very involved in musical theater. So, when I mentioned to her that I do a decent amount of accompanying at church but wish it was more challenging she said she'd like me to work with her from time to time as an accompanist for musicals. She's going to pass the script and music along to me for next years big project to see if I can make it work. I honestly don't know that I can commit to something that big but I'm feeling very motivated to make sure my performance ability is up to par for it. If my schedule doesn't allow it, I'm ok with that. The kids are also busy with school work. I think they've now gotten used to me being checked out for part of the evening while I'm studying. Often we do our homework together. Spencer is itching for me to have a math class or something that I'll need him to help me with. I'm pretty sure I'm going to bump up to full time next semester. I would really love to get this done. The biggest challenge is balance. School itself isn't too bad. If you saw the state of my home you might cry for my family. My bedroom looks like a hoarder has taken over. Well, I guess that's what did happen. And, the laundry is piled higher than ever. My cupboards are almost always bare. I run to the store to get just what I need to get by for that day and maybe the next because I don't have 2 hours to dedicate to proper shopping and putting away groceries. I've gained some weight....ughhh....because I'm eating and drinking at night to keep me up late enough to finish my homework. (Diet Pepsi is as crazy as I get) It bugs me that my house is a wreck but to be honest I'm so flipped out happy to be in school that it makes the down side better for me. Just don't be offended if I don't invite you in for a visit. ;) Better sign off, gotta get ready for Spencer's soccer game and prepare for my nutrition test I have to take tonight. Have a great weekend!!

Life Update

I really want to blog again. In the past when I've done it regularly and with effortless wit, it provided to much clarity and enjoyment in my life. I don't know why it is that when life presented so much discomfort it stifled my ability to blog. I'm no where near being over it but I am really feeling the blogging spirit today so here I sit at the keyboard. Let's hope I can get my groove back. So, updates. We've added chickens to our family. 6 adult hens and two "adolescent" hens. I never knew what having chickens could do. For me, it has brought pure joy. Joy has been hard for me to come by over the past few years. Only because of my own issues & bad attitude, stupid me. Being with my feathered friends is therapy. I feel completely in touch with what is important. I become a minimalist. I no longer feel the urge to have "things" or care about what other feel about what I have or don't have. I just know in my heart that having a simple life is the best way. Amazing! I leave my chickens for a few days and I fall right back into societal entrapment. As a result, I've finally given up the closet dream of starring in a country music video or having my face on a magazine cover to being the next Pioneer Woman, a farmer in a rural community that home schools, gardens and tends to livestock. (No, we don't home school although I really want to. I don't care if you think that's weird or bad.) I'm currently very seriously considering starting back to school in the fall. I went ahead and registered for a few classes at ARC. I still have some kinks to work out with childcare for Cooper and such. At this point, I really want to pursue a music degree. It's what I already do and love. I don't know if I'm being realistic or really random. It could be my self diagnosed ADHD made me do it. I tend to be a little all over the place. But, the more I've thought about it I know that education or my lack of education is the one regret I have in life. I feel like my long list of past mistakes might seem like obvious regrets but I don't regret any of that. Those mistake absolutely detoured me from my goals and changed my life path but they always provided invaluable lessons of acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion, hope and the ability for people to change. So, I'm thinking why not? Down side is that it puts my other dream of home schooling on hold. But, If I can't begin to follow at least one dream at 35 I'll likely give up dreaming all together. I'll keep you posted....