Tuesday, February 23, 2010
What Was On My Mind Last Night
I'm now 37 weeks. I realized last night that I have no pictures of myself pregnant this time. I also realized I haven't taken ANY pictures since I got pregnant. Which means, as much as I thought I could never do it, I've become like so many mothers of multiples. You give the youngest children the short stick. My mom did it. I've always been a little irked by the things my younger siblings get away with or are allowed to do that would have gotten me grounded for weeks on end. Yet, as I think on this new revelation of my neglect to my kids, I wonder if they go hand in hand. You feel so guilty about robbing them of cherished, priceless memories of their childhood that you compensate by letting them get away with too much in the later years. Or, more likely is that in making peace with your neglect and accepting that while it isn't fair, it doesn't make you a bad mother; you then make peace with letting other things go....like the age restriction on shaving legs or wearing mascara or calling boys on the phone. I don't know. I do feel bad for Cameron. Bruce has issues about having little photos of his life. He was the 5th and final child. He also ran wild as a teen. I'm really hoping I haven't created a monster in not taking photos for the last 37 weeks. And, I really better make sure I know where the camera is and that it's charged with a empty memory card or I very well may miss taking pictures of this next child's birth....what would that mean? Serial killer? Bank robber? I'm going to go now and make sure the camera is located and ready to shoot.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey Girl! Thought I would give you my two cents worth. Don't worry about the photos, I accidentally erased the 1st year of Carson's life. (I'm sure i'll have a bank robber too) I have nothing except what was posted on my blogs. No picture of dad holding him in the hospital, no picture of mom holding him in the hospital. Not a day goes by I don't try and find them on the computer. Why is it that on TV they can retrieve data from some blown up hard drive, but I can't find not one photo. AHHHH! As mothers we do the best we can. The younger kids get away with more because you now have three, almost four to worry about. I used to keep a clean house, the laundry used to get done and I had time to do fun projects like paint and sew and read a book, paint my toes, experiment with 80's hair styles. Now, I'm lucky to get the oatmeal mess off the floor before the box of cheerios gets dumped in the bedroom and someone thinks that an empty plastic bin looks like a toilet bowl. Not to mention the honey do list that keeps getting bigger and all the crap that needs to get done. My mother once said...
BE KIND
BE LOVING
BE IN TUNE WITH THE SPIRIT
and let the rest go.
You are a great mom and i can't wait to see photos of the new little guy. Give yourself a hug and know that someone in Citrus Heights is thinking of you
Here's to bank robbers
Lindi
Post a Comment