Insomniac!!

Oh, I'm soooo tired...But no sleep for me. Why oh why can't I sleep?

Oops!

I know it's probably no big shock to anyone around me how nuts I am at times. But, for me, I try to tell myself that I'm keeping it together rather well. Why then did I do these 2 very embarrassing (& nuts) things. First, on Sunday, I'm at church with the kids and when we we're leaving I walked out to the car. Spencer & Taylor were walking beside me & I suddenly had a near panic attack. I thought Cameron had run off into the parking lot so I started to call him. When I got no answer & still couldn't see him the panic rose & I was now yelling his name. How stupid I felt when Spencer, who had been yelling my name & I ignored him, finally got my attention to tell me, "MOM!! You're holding him!!" It was then that I realized several people were looking at me, now certain that I have gone mad! The most recent embarrassment was this morning. Yesterday, I was at a friend's home for piano lessons & it was discussed that they were having a yard sale this weekend. I said I would come. Why did I stay up all night, tossing & turning in excitement over the yard sale and in fear that I would sleep in and not be the 1st one there at 8am? So, this morning after not sleeping hardly at all, I got up at 5am and read my book, just waiting for time to pass so I could wake up the kids and be the 1st at the yard sale. We rushed over, just to find out that it's not today, IT'S TOMORROW!!. I messed up the date. I'm sure my friend really loved having me and my kiddos show up on her doorstep that early. I think I may be a lunatic!!!! It does run in my family, you know.

1st day of summer break!

Yeah! We had so much fun yesterday on the last day of school. It was for me so exhausting. I drove with Taylor & Cameron to Red Bluff on Thursday afternoon so I could go to my sister, Aubree's high school graduation. It didn't start until 8:30 so by the time it was over & we got back to my parents home it was 10:30 or so. I think I got to sleep around 2 am thanks to being left alone with my mother while deliriously tired. I get really chatty (much more than normal) when I'm that tired. Then had to be back in Sac Friday and pick Spencer up from school at 12:05, pick up a babysitter for Cameron, and be at the movies with some Kinder friends at 12:50. We saw Kung-Fu Panda. Loved it. Came home and did a few things around the house. The kids and I were so beat we laid on the couch watching Ben 10:Alien Nation & I dozed for a bit. Then we took the kids to Incredible John's Pizza(which causes me horrible stomach problems everytime I go) to celebrate Spencer's awesome year of Kindergarten. He got great grades and got a 4 out of 4 on his oral oviparous report about the Python. We got home about 9:30!!! I put Cameron to bed and went to bed myself. I don't know what happened with Spenc & Tay. Guess Bruce took care of them?!!

So, today is our 1st day of summer vacation. Chores all morning and the kids were so excited to help thanks to my new chore chart. We had a water balloon fight outside, made a potato salad to go with our BBQ chicken we're having tonight. Did a few puzzles with the kids and that's about it.

Blah, blah, blah, blah....that's probably what this post sounds like. So I will go for now and get my BBQ lit cuz I am so ready to grub!!!

Miss you Grandma!

I just realized that on June 1st my Grandma had been dead 2 years. I've come along way to not have realized it on the actual day. I miss her sometimes. But it's gotten so much better this last year. First year is the worst. I only cry when I listen to Neil Diamond, some Frank Sinatra or when I look at her pictures. She drove us crazy when she was here and how ironic that now that she's gone I would love to go to a tacky eatery with her and would enjoy watching her complain about the service. Here's to Chooky!!!

This pic is her with my Grandpa when they were married(which wasn't too long). He's gone too which is a whole other sad story for another time. But I love this pic because I see 2 people that I love and they look happy. That's how I hope they are now.

P.S. Yes, I'm back on my self therapy kick....

Schools almost out!

I'm not off the blog block completely, I've just been so busy with kids & piano that my only time on the computer has been to quickly check email & do my online banking. I'm whipped after our last kinder field trip to the park for a family BBQ. So much fun, but so exhausting. I had Tay & Cameron with me and we walked. This park is on the river near American River Parkway & we took a "shortcut" to the park thru a neighbors yard. Which was great for most but for me in a huge double stroller it was not so much. I had to off road straight up the levee. I tipped the stroller with my kids in it twice before it occurred to me to have the kids get out and walk.

I'm trying to get geared up for summer, organizing activities and such. You know me, nothing will be to structured.

Had my piano recital in May. It was wonderful. I cried and cried. And, then when my prize student, Annie played at the end I bawled. I was so proud of her and blown away to think I'm the only teacher she's ever had. She plays better than me! And, I also felt so sad. (Refer back a few months to my post about missing performing)

I'm also stressed out over whether or not to go for another baby. I swear that being the oldest of such a large family has given me more complexes than you can imagine. This is it, I don't feel like I "need" another baby. I think I'm ok with 3. Yet, I continue to constantly be bombarded with thoughts that I'm forgetting the baby at home and hearing a baby cry when there isn't one. I'm back to not sleeping because I can't calm my mind about should I go for it or be done. So, basically I'm feeling like it's a sign that like it or not I am supposed to have another and should just suck it up & do it. I think if I really was meant to be done I would be able to let it go. So, please tell me what to do....I take it back, only tell me if you truly know me well & truly care about me. If you don't know me that well or don't really care for me please don't answer my call for help. You'll only worsen the complex I have. ( You know I'm deliriously tired & insane to post this. I'm sure I'll regret it.)

Hope I'll have some pics up soon. Bye!

Do you agree with this?

You Are An Exclamation Point

You are a bundle of... well, something. You're often a bundle of joy, passion, or drama. You're loud, brash, and outgoing. If you think it, you say it. Definitely not the quiet type, you really don't keep a lot to yourself. You're lively and inspiring. People love to be around your energy. (But they do secretly worry that you'll spill their secrets without even realizing it.) You excel in: Public speaking You get along best with: the Dash

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

I was surprised how true this was, exept I've always thought I was good at keeping secrets about others and only blabbed about myself? Am I in denial?

Is it Summer Yet?

I can't wait for summer vacation. I'm so tired of school. In fact, I feel so lazy about the whole thing that I've come to believe homeschool has a great perk...no alarm clocks!! Ha....I'm actually so tired I can't think of anything more to blog about...so good night. Oh, it's only 2:30! That sucks!