Halfway

This week I begin the second half of my first semester back at school. It has been challenging and stressful but full of excitement and wonder as I learn new things and surprise myself at how great I can be as a student. The first time didn't go so well. I'm taking 9 units. Listed in order of favorites, I've got Survey of Music Lit & History, Nutrition and Child Development. All interesting topics, one not so interesting teacher, although as the semester progresses I'm more and more amused by her quirks and disorganization. Plus, I've got my lil sis, Stevie in that class with me. Some people may wonder if I'm her mother although I don't think most have put it together that we're related. It's really fun having her with me. On another musical note, I recently emailed Dr. Bowman. He is retired from CSUC music faculty and was my teacher from middle school into college. I did lessons with him during my pregnancy with Cooper and then had to stop when I had the baby because I could no longer swing the heavy(but absolutely worth it) cost of lessons from someone so amazing. Anyhow, I emailed him just to check in and update him on my life. I was really excited for him to know I'd gone back to school. He responded and offered me lessons again. I won't spill the whole story but he is being very generous in giving me lessons and is helping me tremendously in preparing me for auditions into the Sac State music program when I'm able to transfer. My music history professor at ARC, has mentioned a few opportunities to me as well. She leads the orchestra and is very involved in musical theater. So, when I mentioned to her that I do a decent amount of accompanying at church but wish it was more challenging she said she'd like me to work with her from time to time as an accompanist for musicals. She's going to pass the script and music along to me for next years big project to see if I can make it work. I honestly don't know that I can commit to something that big but I'm feeling very motivated to make sure my performance ability is up to par for it. If my schedule doesn't allow it, I'm ok with that. The kids are also busy with school work. I think they've now gotten used to me being checked out for part of the evening while I'm studying. Often we do our homework together. Spencer is itching for me to have a math class or something that I'll need him to help me with. I'm pretty sure I'm going to bump up to full time next semester. I would really love to get this done. The biggest challenge is balance. School itself isn't too bad. If you saw the state of my home you might cry for my family. My bedroom looks like a hoarder has taken over. Well, I guess that's what did happen. And, the laundry is piled higher than ever. My cupboards are almost always bare. I run to the store to get just what I need to get by for that day and maybe the next because I don't have 2 hours to dedicate to proper shopping and putting away groceries. I've gained some weight....ughhh....because I'm eating and drinking at night to keep me up late enough to finish my homework. (Diet Pepsi is as crazy as I get) It bugs me that my house is a wreck but to be honest I'm so flipped out happy to be in school that it makes the down side better for me. Just don't be offended if I don't invite you in for a visit. ;) Better sign off, gotta get ready for Spencer's soccer game and prepare for my nutrition test I have to take tonight. Have a great weekend!!

Life Update

I really want to blog again. In the past when I've done it regularly and with effortless wit, it provided to much clarity and enjoyment in my life. I don't know why it is that when life presented so much discomfort it stifled my ability to blog. I'm no where near being over it but I am really feeling the blogging spirit today so here I sit at the keyboard. Let's hope I can get my groove back. So, updates. We've added chickens to our family. 6 adult hens and two "adolescent" hens. I never knew what having chickens could do. For me, it has brought pure joy. Joy has been hard for me to come by over the past few years. Only because of my own issues & bad attitude, stupid me. Being with my feathered friends is therapy. I feel completely in touch with what is important. I become a minimalist. I no longer feel the urge to have "things" or care about what other feel about what I have or don't have. I just know in my heart that having a simple life is the best way. Amazing! I leave my chickens for a few days and I fall right back into societal entrapment. As a result, I've finally given up the closet dream of starring in a country music video or having my face on a magazine cover to being the next Pioneer Woman, a farmer in a rural community that home schools, gardens and tends to livestock. (No, we don't home school although I really want to. I don't care if you think that's weird or bad.) I'm currently very seriously considering starting back to school in the fall. I went ahead and registered for a few classes at ARC. I still have some kinks to work out with childcare for Cooper and such. At this point, I really want to pursue a music degree. It's what I already do and love. I don't know if I'm being realistic or really random. It could be my self diagnosed ADHD made me do it. I tend to be a little all over the place. But, the more I've thought about it I know that education or my lack of education is the one regret I have in life. I feel like my long list of past mistakes might seem like obvious regrets but I don't regret any of that. Those mistake absolutely detoured me from my goals and changed my life path but they always provided invaluable lessons of acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion, hope and the ability for people to change. So, I'm thinking why not? Down side is that it puts my other dream of home schooling on hold. But, If I can't begin to follow at least one dream at 35 I'll likely give up dreaming all together. I'll keep you posted....

Catching Up

Here's our latest family photos courtesy of my BFF Felisha Coltrin.

It's been so long since I've blogged!! You can really see how long by looking at Cooper. Last post he was the darling little newborn. Now, he's the busiest 10 month old boy that is into everything. He's stinkin' cute and super yummy! It's kind of crazy for me to see us in pictures. At home, it's normal life but in pictures it looks like such a big deal!! I have 4 flippin' kids!! Bruce will be 40 this year!! That's old enough to have an adult child....ughhh! But he still wears the same size jeans he did when we got married. Wish I could say that!!

We're so dang cute! Anyway, we moved back in October. Same area, more space. Moving sucks, let me just say it!! I hate it...and so, it's taken us some time to recover and start moving forward with organizing and decorating. It's all coming along. We finally have a huge garage that we're getting organized and a fun little upstairs studio that will be a guest room/home gym. I've also got a living room, in addition to a family room which is the most fabulous thing in the world for me. It's MY room. The piano is in there. It's my "studio" and it's got my signature on all of the fun and wild pillows and accessories. I sit in there at night and read or knit. It's so freakin' fantastic!! Last night, I laid on my new shag rug reading Great Expectations and felt so happy to have the space.

I've also started going to the gym with my chicca, Jenise. She opens up the whoop-Astle on me. (She's an Astle, not related to the plumber.) So, I'm sore as heck but loving it! Cooper really did a number on me. I'm trying to accept my girth for what it is but I'll tell you, I'm not liking it. I've been telling myself that, "I'm large and in charge!" But the sad truth is there's no in charge about it! Just a few more pervs than normal giving stares at the obscene amount of cleavage I now possess. Coop is in heaven though. He's living every mans fantasy!! All this rambling silly talk is to spit out that I'm getting my butt in shape!!






The kids are doing great. Spencer is in 3rd grade. He's in cub scouts now. He loves PE, music and science. He loves writing in cursive. He loves to dance hip hop. He makes up his own moves and they're dang good!! Taylor is in 1st grade. She's doing daisies in girl scouts. She loves recess. She's really good at reading. She loves PE and Art. She is learning piano. Spencer and Taylor are in a small musical theater show with The Arden Players. They play soccer and along with Cam, are starting baseball. Cameron is 4. Still at home with mom. He'll start Kindergarten this fall and is very excited. He will be doing T-Ball this spring which he's gonna be great at! He loves games. Video games, computer games, board games, made up games....anything games! He is really good at puzzles and a great helper at home. Now, Cooper, ahhhhhh. The Coop is doing well. He's got a yummy mouth and cakers in the rear that just mmmmm....I want to take a bite out them! He's got 4 teeth. 2 on top and 2 on the bottom. They are just like mine when I was little....bucker-rooos!! I love it. He's taken a few steps but not quite walking. He loves to play with his siblings and make fart sounds blowing on our tummies. He plays, poops, cuddles up to the boobies and sleeps....what a life, huh!! I'm so thankful for my kids. They are the most awesome little people.

Oh, I didn't update on the 2 beasts....we still have them....(big sigh)

One Nice Thing

(This is Taylor at 1 year old.This picture makes me smile for at least a whole minute!)

I learned in counseling years ago that there is no winning in finger pointing. If I feel lonely or rejected or ugly or fat or grumpy, whatever, it's really on me. No one's choices make me act a certain way. I can make the choice to ALLOW others actions (that are out of my control) to effect me, or; I can simply not worry about them and instead do something that is in my control.

GET OFF MY BOO HOOING BUTT AND WORK ON ME!!

Today I am choosing to do one nice thing for each member of my family. It's something that I know will help me to be more thoughtful of my them and remind me to enjoy each day with them. I've got to start with Bruce because if dad's not happy...:( I'm going to put nice clean linens on the bed, write him a flirty little love note to leave on his pillow and then.......heehee! For Spencer, I'm going to take him on a bike ride after school. He loves that and will be really excited. Taylor, she's going to get extra snuggle & story time tonight. She's more affectionate than the boys and craves attention at bedtime. Cameron is the twirp. He cracks me up all the time. His idea of something special is buying candy, gum or a toy. That's not going to work for me because I'm trying to not give praise to my kids with monetary items for awhile. I want them to learn to work for money and save for purchases. So, instead, I will be treating Cameron to an unexpected lunch date. We're going on a picnic and leaving right away. He will LOVE it!! Cooper, well, he gets enough breastfeeding to make any guy over the moon. What's better than that??



It's going to be a great day!

Patience...

...a virtue I do not seem to possess. But, nonetheless, I was asked to give a lesson today at church in Relief Society (that's the name of our women's organization/class). It was based on a fabulous talk given at our last general conference by President Uchtdorf. I love his talks. It was given to the men of our church but it really applies to us all. In the spirit of renewal & strengthening our marriages, here it is for you to read and ponder. Patience, in addition to a weed warmer, will help save the world.

(This is Cameron a few years ago. If only he stayed like this all the time; Patience would come much easier.)

P.S. Yet another great photo from my friend Nicolette!

The Weed Warmer

(Bruce & I on our wedding day, August 15, 1998)

It came to me during a recent conversation with my mom. We were talking about my parents upcoming wedding anniversary. My parent will have been married for 34 years. I've always feared when thinking about them that they are surviving more than than they are enjoying life. Our youngest in turning 11 soon and before you know it she'll be gone and my parents will find themselves without children.....in their late 60's. Imagine having nonstop child-rearing for 40+ years....Yikes!! So, I remembered a story my mom told me when I moved out of their home at 18 and gave me a huge quilt that had always been around the house. This was a special quilt, nicknamed "The Weed Warmer". She made it for my dad very early in their relationship and it was carried around in the back of the car so that wherever they found themselves parked, they could have a cozy spot to sit.....or lay!!! Excuse the pun. (Ok, I have to say that was totally my own deliberate pun that I'm sure my mom won't appreciate and I am NOT saying there was ever any public laying. Although, I hear it's the spice of life. We all know how my mind works.) Anyhow, I moved out with the weed warmer and as the years have passed it was layed to rest without ever being replaced. So, while on the phone with my mom, I had a brilliant gift idea...She needs to make my dad a new weed warmer....Plan a special date night, put it in the trunk with a big bow, pack a picnic, pull up to the park at 11pm like some 17 year old hormonal teenagers and park. Then she can give him the new weed warmer. Let them do what they may with it but I truly believe this would add spice to my mother & fathers' life. And believe me, they could use some! Bruce's birthday is in October....I think he would love a weed warmer....in camo print.

I told my mom, while on the phone, my idea. She laughed. I think she's considering it. She would be smart to do it. I'll leave it up to her. But, what I did realize was that in addition to giving some much needed gift advice, I was also receiving some much needed inspiration for my blog. It hit me then, my current season in life is leaving me overwhelmed & tired. Bruce & I are trying to make time to be together WITHOUT kids. It's tough. But you have to not give up. Wouldn't it be fabulous to blog about our dates, dates I hear about from others, great gifts for your hunky man, etc.? I'm taking it upon myself to do my part in making the world a better place; by rescuing the boring & lonely hearted couples. So, please email me any experiences you have had or ideas....For my circle of people, creative & inexpensive goes along way. Although, I like to be swanky from time to time to. Until next time, make your hubby his own Weed Warmer...Bet you won't feel so boring!!

Hope It's Worth the Wait

Finally, I have a worthwhile post! I miss my blog...but it was too much to worry about.

This is Cooper Daniel Anderson.
He came out like a lightning bolt on Friday, March 19, 2010.
Weighing in at 8 lbs 9 oz, 20 3/4 inches.

And I've fallen in love all over again.

(Pictures courtesy of Nicolette's Photography.)

I love, love, love this picture of me pregnant.
And I love my hair.
And my necklace.

My absolute favorite picture.....I don't take my shirt off for just any boy.
This boy is that special.

Mostly, I love being a mother to these adorable 4.

What Was On My Mind Last Night

I'm now 37 weeks. I realized last night that I have no pictures of myself pregnant this time. I also realized I haven't taken ANY pictures since I got pregnant. Which means, as much as I thought I could never do it, I've become like so many mothers of multiples. You give the youngest children the short stick. My mom did it. I've always been a little irked by the things my younger siblings get away with or are allowed to do that would have gotten me grounded for weeks on end. Yet, as I think on this new revelation of my neglect to my kids, I wonder if they go hand in hand. You feel so guilty about robbing them of cherished, priceless memories of their childhood that you compensate by letting them get away with too much in the later years. Or, more likely is that in making peace with your neglect and accepting that while it isn't fair, it doesn't make you a bad mother; you then make peace with letting other things go....like the age restriction on shaving legs or wearing mascara or calling boys on the phone. I don't know. I do feel bad for Cameron. Bruce has issues about having little photos of his life. He was the 5th and final child. He also ran wild as a teen. I'm really hoping I haven't created a monster in not taking photos for the last 37 weeks. And, I really better make sure I know where the camera is and that it's charged with a empty memory card or I very well may miss taking pictures of this next child's birth....what would that mean? Serial killer? Bank robber? I'm going to go now and make sure the camera is located and ready to shoot.

Trials

I'm trying to get back into this blogging thing. I do miss it. The timing of and the actual pregnancy have been a trial for me. Nothing to worry about with the baby or me. We've both been perfectly fine. I'm just a person that hates any discomfort and whines about it. My absence from blogging has been a direct result of this. I don't want to be the person that bitches all the time. (I know I should probably word that differently to both be a more virtuous woman and to be respectful of readers that don't appreciate my mouth. But I'm in no mood to impress or worry about propriety.)

Here I sit tonight, to blog once again. Finally, a life lesson that is blog worthy. Very real and still somewhat witty.(At least I think it is.)

I can't get into to all my woes. Too many details that don't need to be shared. Some insignificant, while others are truly a mess. Nothing life threatening. Just extremely stressful and at times humiliating. I've had many days of feeling all dignity stripped from me. The funny part of it is that I have no qualms about indignity when I volunteer it. It's when it's forced upon me that I have trouble with.

Here's the background. Bruce & I have been dealing with alot of financial stress. As is everyone else I know. Being pregnant on top of it has made it more difficult to cope. My house is a mess because I can't muster the energy to do more than 1 small thing before I have to sit. I can hardly bend over. My varicose veins are getting to be quite painful. My feet are swollen and numb. I'm not sleeping, etc., etc. What can I say? I'm having a rough time.

WARNING: here comes the gross & shameless part. About 2 weeks ago I had a new trial arise. One so terribly awful that it had me contemplating taking some very extreme measures. For the first time in my life, I busted out a new friend, HEM!! You know the one, nickname for hemorrhoid. I've always loved that saying, "You're like a pimple on my arse....I pop you but you just keep coming back." No, No....the better effect would come from a hemorroid analogy. I've never had so much havoc to my rear end. Even during giving birth to Spencer, as I was yelling that he's coming out my a@! like some lunatic, it was better than this. At least then, it was over after a few hours. This was constant for 2 weeks. This trial was so horrendous for me that when, after much drama, ranting,a box of wet wipes and a very indecent examination from a very cute doctorish type person; it miraculously went away, I felt a new lease on life. All the trials from financial to constipation to my not so friendly anaconda in the jungle to the crazy facial hairs to my sausage toes became manageable and almost nice. It's funny how trials feel so terrible & overwhelming....then that nasty hemorroid bangs down you're back door and teaches you that you really are being watched over and things could be oh so much worse. And that my friends, turns "HEM" into a real friend....a real blessing of sorts.

Countdown to the Big Feast! #4

I missed yesterday....I was busy and honestly, couldn't think of much to say. Isn't that terrible. Here I am the day before Thanksgiving and am having a hard time thinking of something worth while to be grateful for. That's never a good sign.

So, in my last ditch effort to be a better person and count my blessings here is my list:

1-I'm thankful for pie. It makes me feel good.
2-I'm thankful for bedtime. It's amazing how much you enjoy you're children while they sleep. It's so much easier to reflect on their goodness during bedtime.
3-I'm thankful for the piano. When I find I can't put my fist through the wall or into my husband's jaw, I know I can take out my aggression in a dark Beethoven Sonata.
4-I'm thankful for my OB. Dr. Lemieux. Anyone that can check out you're nasty swollen prego parts and still smile at you, is a blessing.
5-I'm thankful for friends. The ones who have brownies, chips. bread, etc on hand when I'm near are my favorites.
6-I'm thankful for my new flat iron. My sis, Brittney, saved me from insanity with my new flat iron. Good hair is the difference between down in the dumps for a moment or clinically depressed.
7-I'm thankful for in-laws that invite you over for Thanksgiving dinner and only ask you to bring a green salad. Could it get any easier than that?
8-I'm thankful for prospective. Just when you think you're life sucks, you think about your druggie brother, your convict sister in law, your bi-polar sister, your welfare friend, your friend fighting cancer, your friend getting divorced....I'm sober, healthy and still married....That's a true blessing.
9-I'm thankful for my Live, Laugh, Love club. I never knew how wonderful it could be to put a few Mormons, a few Presbyterians, a Greek & a Jew together. Ironically, when I'm with them, it makes me want to be a better Mormon. Funny, huh?
10-I'm thankful for my children. Even when they are awake. They challenge me, sure. But they love me whether I'm Mom of the Year or fresh off of Jerry Springer. That's the greatest blessing of all.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!!

Countdown to the Big Feast! #3

Well, today is easy. I am so thankful for breaks from school & piano. Today has been wonderfully productive. I've enjoyed my kids. No alarm clock. No freezing cold car. No tardy slips. No forgetting the library books. Or fight over which color cereal bowl we'll use. We've done some housework and that's about it. We've been spending the afternoon goofing around, napping and not caring about much else. Oh, wait, we did make Indian costumes out of paper grocery sacks. The kids made matching head pieces using the feathers from Bruce's duck. And, Cameron decided to pee on the laundry room floor for no apparent reason. Hmmm. I didn't have to yell. Because we're on break. So, improper pissing doesn't bother me as much. It's such a wonderful way to make a Monday great.

Countdown to the Big Feast! #2

Today I'm thankful for great food. Well, preferably great food....but food generally speaking as well. I'm cooking short ribs tonight. They won't be nearly as tasty as Roxy's short ribs, but they will still be wonderful. After dinner, our family will be making our own ice cream sundaes for dessert. Won't that be fabulous?

As I'm preparing dinner, the kids are working on a construction paper turkey, made out of each of our hand prints. We will each write on our fingers something that we're grateful for. The turkey will be adorned upon the box that we assemble our annual Thanksgiving dinner for another family in. As I drool over the thought of short ribs and ice cream soon to come, I reflect on the dear family that may not be able to have a Thanksgiving dinner, let alone an average Sunday dinner. Food not only is an essential source of energy to our bodies. It is an essential source for my mental and emotional wellness. Great food is one of my favorite things in this whole existence. I can easily see how providing food for your family, especially when you have a house full, can become such a hardship. With all of the financial stresses my family has had and is currently having, I'm still blessed with these delectable short ribs.

So, for today, I recognize the great blessing of having food in my home for my family to enjoy. It is truly a blessing.

Countdown to the Big Feast! #1

Today I am thankful for hunting season. Shocking I know. Most hunting widows that I know despise the season. And believe me, I often agree. But today, I need some quiet. I need to get a break from the 2 ferocious beasts. Not Bruce & Spencer, Magnum & Ramsey. (Although Bruce is known for being beastly.) I've been wanting to organize a few things without getting my butt sniffed every time I bend over. Or drop a duke in the toilet without Ramsey trying to peek in. Now is the time that I can. Bruce and Spencer have left for the afternoon to hunt. If I'm really lucky, he'll even bring me home a plump pheasant or two. And if he brings home those nasty dove instead and tosses them in my fridge, then you may be reading tomorrow's Countdown to the Big Feast #2.....all about how grateful I am for life insurance.

The other part of hunting season that makes me grateful is seeing how excited Spencer is. This is his thing with dad and every boy needs that. He painted his face like a warrior. I'm not sure if he's trying to blend in or was thinking of Squanto, which he just finished reading at school. Either way, he looks like a dirty hunter with a missing front tooth. I love it!!!

Survival

I've been away for awhile. Not anywhere. Still here. Just not blogging. To be honest, I haven't been myself. I've lost all motivation and inspiration. I'm now 21 weeks pregnant. I feel like I should be about 31 weeks by now. I was sick; that's over. Thankfully. I was really truly losing my mind. I was irrational, negative, foul mouthed, and distraught. I was becoming very resentful of the fact that I feel very alone in this whole thing of pregnancy. I get it effects the husband too, yada yada yada.....But let's be honest. This is my show. It's all on me. Bruce doesn't have an anaconda growing in his foot, ankle and leg. He doesn't have pimples popping up in places pimples should never be. He doesn't have little hiccups inside of him keeping him awake at night. There are no scales to face. He is not going to have to lay in front of a room of strangers with what feels like a bowling ball coming out of his private parts. He isn't living in fear of hemorrhoids creeping in. The list goes on and on.

I had to go buy bras yesterday. At only 21 weeks I've gone up 3 cup sizes. What will this mean for me once my milk comes in? I imagine they may very well become so large that I'll need a permit to carry deadly weapons. Ok, true; It's a pretty cool problem. I won't complain about that. We all know I love my lady lumps. Getting off track a little, my openness about my chest recently got me into a little hot water. So, if you haven't learned by now.....if you're offended by my boob talk....it's with nothing but love and respect I warn you to stay off my blog.

Anyway, back to my rant. There is one annoying thing I'm dealing with that Bruce is one up me on. That is the ridiculous amount of body hair I have growing in various places. He's got me there. That's for sure. I had to go get the sides of my face waxed!! This is only the surface. Let's put physical annoyances aside. My house is running a muck. It's just plain gross. I usually love to cook. I can't stand it. I decided a little while back that the only road to survival is to make sure that we all have clean underwear. Even that has been challenging. (Speaking of the kiddos that is.) I would love to have family around to help me. I've asked for divine intervention. Maybe I could have a week where I feel like wonder woman and can work from sun up to sun down cleaning, cooking, and organizing. Or maybe one day a crew of lovely women will move in to fix it all. It hasn't happened. Although, now that I've got my 34 G's in place and happy....Things are looking up.

Literally.

Kidless

Sunday afternoon, my dad came up from Red Bluff. My 3 kiddos have been bored stiff and wanted to visit their grandparents, Aunt Megan, and cousin Danyelle. (Sorry to the rest of the clan....I can't help it that they have chosen their favorites.) My dad took them home for the week. The prospect of being kidless was such a dream come true. I made out mental lists of all the projects I would get done. I decided to get my front yard completely done. Start on the backyard. All bedrooms would be completely cleaned out and organized. Hours upon hours of piano practice in. I could read at least 2 books this week without them around. I would thoroughly scour the kitchen and living area. Maybe even knit a scarf for fall. Oh, a vacation for me is really what I'd lined up. But I awoke yesterday morning, looked at the clock to see it was 6:45....groaned, thinking the kids would be getting up and causing chaos in about 15 minutes; then realizing they had been shipped out. So, I went back to sleep for another hour or so. When I finally got up I looked around and just felt really uneasy. I went outside and pulled some weeds. It got hot so I came in. I started some laundry and plopped down on the couch with a tall glass of ice water thinking in a few minutes I'll get up and get to work.....but, as I looked around and heard NOTHING! I couldn't do it. I had no motivation to work. The excitement of my kidless week had fled. I just felt LONELY! So, I spent the rest of the day on the couch. (Picture me hiding my head in shame.) Ahhh, the truth is I love having my smart mouthed, dirty faced, mess making little ones home. Without them home for one day I turned into a lazy, whiny, couch potato. Hmmmm. What a let down. Can't wait for Saturday when they get to come home.

Family & Fireworks

I haven't hung out with my cousin Mendi in years. YEARS! We were close as kids and extremely close as young adults. We were like Thelma & Louise(Ok, without the guns and thievery)....taking Chico by storm. She was in my wedding. I love her to pieces. She understood me during my years of rebellion and confusion. What people don't realize, because they tend to judge from the surface, is that I am a person who NEEDS a person to understand me and love me for me. Someone that sees my weaknesses and my strengths and loves me because of them. She was that person. She didn't personally believe some of the things that I did, but she always encouraged me to be whatever made me happy...One day I figured it out on my own. I decided to be committed to my faith.

And here I am now, living it the best that I can. I moved on and she supported me in that. None of my other friends did. It says alot about her. (BTW, I really did mean for this to be a post about all the fun we had on the 4th. I guess I've been needing to get this out.)

I saw Mendi at my Grandpa's funeral. We talked about plans for the 4th of July. I admit, I was hesitant to commit for various reasons. But, any prior commitments or apprehensions were second to the overwhelming excitement I felt to reconnect with my dear cousin.

So, we packed up the trailer. Loaded the kids, the 2 dogs(we got Ramsey the night before we left), the toad's and their tank, the tree frogs and their tank, a bunch of crickets and fruit flies and headed up to my old stomping ground....the beautiful Lake Almanor. My body hasn't seen so much sun in 12 years. I love being tan again. I forgot how amazing it feels. We swam in the lake. We laid on the beach. We ate way too much junk food. We watched the fireworks off the peninsula. It was amazing.





The kids had so much fun playing with their 2nd cousins that they hardly knew. They connected like they had grown up together. It warmed my heart to see this. It reminded me of my younger years when I played the same way with my cousins. We shared our holidays. We were ALL together. Time, distance, and maybe a few other differences eroded this. It's always left me a little disheartened. This weekend meant so much to me. And it was SO SO SO fun!! I think our new tradition will be to spend the 4th up at Lake Almanor....but, next year I will make sure my air mattress doesn't have a hole.

Ramsey

I would like to introduce you all to our newest family member, Ramsey. He's a 7 month old Golden Retriever that we adopted from a family who could no longer provide a home for him. Yes, I've clearly lost my mind to have agreed to this. And YES, I did agree. Bruce did not push me. He really didn't have to. Ramsey is so cute and sweet that I caved with almost no pressure. I'm getting so weak in my older age. So, when you come to my house remember 2 things: 1)take allergy meds if needed 2) My house will be in complete disarray while I try to deal with the mess of two dogs shedding everywhere & the rest of the puppy years. Please pray for me. The increased poop in the yard alone might drive me mad. But, for now, all is well....we love our new pup, Ramsey.

Chocolate Cake

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My birthday has come and gone. It's been a full month. That makes it seem like ages ago. So last night when I hosted our Live, Laugh, Love club I didn't give it a thought. I made Thai Chicken Salad for the girls. Debbie called earlier in the day to offer dessert. She was concerned I might think she was overstepping....I assured her that I gladly give up dessert duty. I do not usually enjoy baking and often don't even consider dessert when meal planning. People judge me for that, I know. But, if Dan & Kayleen Boone were your parents you would understand. We began our meeting as usual, although 2 ladies less. Ashley had other "obligations" and poor Georgia came down with a nasty migraine. We were bummed to miss them. We were supposed to be surprising Ashley with her birthday gift and looking forward to Georgia bringing her sister to meet us. Anyway, Debbie, Denise, Molly and I sat down for dinner and laughed our pants off! I went into the kitchen for a brief moment and came back to find the 3 girls in a bustle. Party glasses and horns, hats and the chocolate cake. Not the Debbie's homemade cake she told me of. The Ettore's cake. Oh me oh my!! The chocolate cake......give me second to cool down. It was so beautifully written on, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! TANJA & ASHLEY! (Debbie was a great little liar, I must say!)


Poor Ashley, missed the cake. I got it all to myself.......yuuuuummmmm!

And I got a precious 1 hour massage.

I must say, turning 32 has been the gift that keeps on giving. My party alone was plenty wonderful. Even for me who expects excitement and bliss on my big day. Then, I got a few after presents....a wonderful brown summer dress, a box full of reusable shopping bags, a check in the mail, and now; a whole month later, a massage and chocolate cake!

I'm getting older now, it's true. Some things are inevitable. My girls might sway, my eyelids may droop, my tummy may be in need of a tuck, and my cakes sag....but that chocolate cake....made 32 absolutely blissful!

It's My Party!

Bruce & I at the end of a great night...Don't we look fresh!

I don't know how to get that dang date stamp off my photos. It's so irritating! But, check us out!
Turning 32 was absolutely fabulous, AS IT SHOULD BE! I'd been planning my birthday outfit for weeks. I had this vision in my mind of how I wanted it to be. The thing is that I knew we would be doing karaoke. I've been planning that too. I love singing all the classic rock chic songs. Janis Joplin, Pat Benatar, Bonnie Tyler, Blondie.....So, I had to look like a rock star! I wore my skinny jeans...of course everything held in tight with my SPANX. I found this fabulous shirt at TJ Maxx. Got some great jewelry. Lots of make-up. It came down to Friday, I picked up the babysitter and we went to the shoe store to finalize my look. The shoes aren't in the picture. That's a cryin' shame!

We went to dinner a La Rosa Blanca with some friends. You must go to this place! Excellent food and great live music on Friday nights. It was dreamy to have a bunch of Mexican men surround me with guitars and tambourine's and sing their lungs out! Wheww!

After dinner we went to Ruru Lala.....small group but so fun!! Here's a few pics and some video clips(although the video is pretty dark, you can hear us screeching out our songs!)

Felisha & Ashley.....prego power!!
Dan , myself, Georgia and Mary

Jason and Bruce rock the house!


"I Will Survive"....but you might die listening to it!

Memorial Day

Memorial Day 2009 found us once again cemetery hopping.
This tradition was new for me when I married into the Anderson family but has become one of my most treasured ones. I have always had somewhat of an obsession with death, as my loyal readers know. For me there is something so amazing about taking time to honor loved ones past. Partly, I know it's because I fear I will die and be forgotten. It's also because I feel so drawn to my ancestors. I believe that the lives they lived have influenced how I was raised and who I am. When I am down, I often talk to my deceased grandparents. I believe they are busy doing other things now, but I also believe they are aware of me and surround me when I need them to. This year was bittersweet at the cemetery. I had just lost my grandfather. My mother and uncles were in Utah putting him to rest. I was sad that I couldn't be there. I also lamented about my Grandma Boone. I missed putting flowers on her grave last year. I missed her birthday this year. And now, I've missed her death date, June 1, as well. I will go there soon to do that.

As we cleaned the headstones and decorated the graves with flowers, my children listened to stories from Bruce and their Grandma Anderson about the loved ones we were honoring. My mother in law shared a story about her son, lost at 3 years old. About 2 weeks before his passing he said to her that he was going to go be with Heavenly Father. She said to him, "Wow! You must be a really good boy to get to go and be with him." His reply was,"Oh, mommy, I have been." She said he was so excited. Two weeks later he developed a brain bleed and died. I cried as she told my children that story. The thought of losing a child kills me. But, as I heard this part of the story for the first time I couldn't help but be grateful that my kids could hear this from their grandmother. Bruce also shared memories of his grandparents with our kids. We had a great time together. I'm so thankful for the cherished traditions that are not only fun for my family but unify us and are shaping who we are and what we value.