Kidless

Sunday afternoon, my dad came up from Red Bluff. My 3 kiddos have been bored stiff and wanted to visit their grandparents, Aunt Megan, and cousin Danyelle. (Sorry to the rest of the clan....I can't help it that they have chosen their favorites.) My dad took them home for the week. The prospect of being kidless was such a dream come true. I made out mental lists of all the projects I would get done. I decided to get my front yard completely done. Start on the backyard. All bedrooms would be completely cleaned out and organized. Hours upon hours of piano practice in. I could read at least 2 books this week without them around. I would thoroughly scour the kitchen and living area. Maybe even knit a scarf for fall. Oh, a vacation for me is really what I'd lined up. But I awoke yesterday morning, looked at the clock to see it was 6:45....groaned, thinking the kids would be getting up and causing chaos in about 15 minutes; then realizing they had been shipped out. So, I went back to sleep for another hour or so. When I finally got up I looked around and just felt really uneasy. I went outside and pulled some weeds. It got hot so I came in. I started some laundry and plopped down on the couch with a tall glass of ice water thinking in a few minutes I'll get up and get to work.....but, as I looked around and heard NOTHING! I couldn't do it. I had no motivation to work. The excitement of my kidless week had fled. I just felt LONELY! So, I spent the rest of the day on the couch. (Picture me hiding my head in shame.) Ahhh, the truth is I love having my smart mouthed, dirty faced, mess making little ones home. Without them home for one day I turned into a lazy, whiny, couch potato. Hmmmm. What a let down. Can't wait for Saturday when they get to come home.

Family & Fireworks

I haven't hung out with my cousin Mendi in years. YEARS! We were close as kids and extremely close as young adults. We were like Thelma & Louise(Ok, without the guns and thievery)....taking Chico by storm. She was in my wedding. I love her to pieces. She understood me during my years of rebellion and confusion. What people don't realize, because they tend to judge from the surface, is that I am a person who NEEDS a person to understand me and love me for me. Someone that sees my weaknesses and my strengths and loves me because of them. She was that person. She didn't personally believe some of the things that I did, but she always encouraged me to be whatever made me happy...One day I figured it out on my own. I decided to be committed to my faith.

And here I am now, living it the best that I can. I moved on and she supported me in that. None of my other friends did. It says alot about her. (BTW, I really did mean for this to be a post about all the fun we had on the 4th. I guess I've been needing to get this out.)

I saw Mendi at my Grandpa's funeral. We talked about plans for the 4th of July. I admit, I was hesitant to commit for various reasons. But, any prior commitments or apprehensions were second to the overwhelming excitement I felt to reconnect with my dear cousin.

So, we packed up the trailer. Loaded the kids, the 2 dogs(we got Ramsey the night before we left), the toad's and their tank, the tree frogs and their tank, a bunch of crickets and fruit flies and headed up to my old stomping ground....the beautiful Lake Almanor. My body hasn't seen so much sun in 12 years. I love being tan again. I forgot how amazing it feels. We swam in the lake. We laid on the beach. We ate way too much junk food. We watched the fireworks off the peninsula. It was amazing.





The kids had so much fun playing with their 2nd cousins that they hardly knew. They connected like they had grown up together. It warmed my heart to see this. It reminded me of my younger years when I played the same way with my cousins. We shared our holidays. We were ALL together. Time, distance, and maybe a few other differences eroded this. It's always left me a little disheartened. This weekend meant so much to me. And it was SO SO SO fun!! I think our new tradition will be to spend the 4th up at Lake Almanor....but, next year I will make sure my air mattress doesn't have a hole.

Ramsey

I would like to introduce you all to our newest family member, Ramsey. He's a 7 month old Golden Retriever that we adopted from a family who could no longer provide a home for him. Yes, I've clearly lost my mind to have agreed to this. And YES, I did agree. Bruce did not push me. He really didn't have to. Ramsey is so cute and sweet that I caved with almost no pressure. I'm getting so weak in my older age. So, when you come to my house remember 2 things: 1)take allergy meds if needed 2) My house will be in complete disarray while I try to deal with the mess of two dogs shedding everywhere & the rest of the puppy years. Please pray for me. The increased poop in the yard alone might drive me mad. But, for now, all is well....we love our new pup, Ramsey.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day 2009 found us once again cemetery hopping.
This tradition was new for me when I married into the Anderson family but has become one of my most treasured ones. I have always had somewhat of an obsession with death, as my loyal readers know. For me there is something so amazing about taking time to honor loved ones past. Partly, I know it's because I fear I will die and be forgotten. It's also because I feel so drawn to my ancestors. I believe that the lives they lived have influenced how I was raised and who I am. When I am down, I often talk to my deceased grandparents. I believe they are busy doing other things now, but I also believe they are aware of me and surround me when I need them to. This year was bittersweet at the cemetery. I had just lost my grandfather. My mother and uncles were in Utah putting him to rest. I was sad that I couldn't be there. I also lamented about my Grandma Boone. I missed putting flowers on her grave last year. I missed her birthday this year. And now, I've missed her death date, June 1, as well. I will go there soon to do that.

As we cleaned the headstones and decorated the graves with flowers, my children listened to stories from Bruce and their Grandma Anderson about the loved ones we were honoring. My mother in law shared a story about her son, lost at 3 years old. About 2 weeks before his passing he said to her that he was going to go be with Heavenly Father. She said to him, "Wow! You must be a really good boy to get to go and be with him." His reply was,"Oh, mommy, I have been." She said he was so excited. Two weeks later he developed a brain bleed and died. I cried as she told my children that story. The thought of losing a child kills me. But, as I heard this part of the story for the first time I couldn't help but be grateful that my kids could hear this from their grandmother. Bruce also shared memories of his grandparents with our kids. We had a great time together. I'm so thankful for the cherished traditions that are not only fun for my family but unify us and are shaping who we are and what we value.

Saying Goodbye

My sister called on Thursday to say my Grandpa wasn't well. It wouldn't be long. She was going to have my mom call. My mom called me while I was on my way to get Spencer at school. She confirmed it. He would be gone soon. I canceled my lessons and such, loaded up as fast as I could, and headed to Red Bluff to be with my Grandpa for whatever time he had left.

I came into the house and was met with warnings. "Grandpa is pretty out of it. He doesn't respond to us much. He hasn't recognized anyone. Etc." I walked to his bedside, prepared. "Tanja, Is that you?" Clear as day, the words came from him. He knew I was there. Ahhhh. The relief. I would have my last moments knowing that he knew I was there. I kissed him softly and said Grandpa, "I think it would be so wonderful if you surprised your mother on Mother's Day. She would love that."

I sat with him, holding his hand, touching his face, brushing his hair. My sister and I bathed him as we have before. Sarah shaved him. She always takes great care of him that way. More waiting. I brought some music to play for him. I've been practicing. I knew this day would come and I wanted to be prepared. I pictured him resting peacefully, listening to the sacred hymns he loved. I envisioned my music would move him onward. He had other plans I guess. The house was full of his children and grandchildren. We all came in and out, taking turns loving on him. I know he loved being surrounded by his family.

Last night, I snuck in late. Around 11:30pm. My uncles were getting him settled for the night. I knew it wouldn't be long. My grandpa laid so solemnly. It was so quiet. Just myself, my dear Grandma, Uncle Chip, Uncle Charlie and Grandpa. We knelt in family prayer around his bedside. I kissed him good night and let him be. I wanted so badly to stay. I would have laid on the floor next to him just to have a few hours more. But, I left him with my grandmother, his wife of 60 years.

I guess he agreed with my Mother's Day idea. He left this world early this Mother's Day morning. What a great blessing to have him as my grandfather. What a great blessing to have had the pleasure of serving my Grandpa during his last months and hours of life. What a great blessing to know he is finally at peace.

My Yesterday

Yesterday, I went over to my friend Michele's house. Her sister was in town. She's a massage therapist. She brought her reflexology chair out and I got to be the lucky client. Oooh, the wonders of having an hour of hard, healing work put into your feet. Awwwww! I wasn't home too long before I had to do piano lessons...only 2. Short day for me. I was no more done then I had to run out the door to pick up the sitter. I literally brought her & my kids back to my house, unlocked the front door and said, "Good Luck!" and I was off again. (This is how the week goes when your a single parent....no splitsville....Bruce is working out of town.)

I walked into Ultimate Nails in Loehman's Plaza 10 minutes early. Picked out my Big Apple Red nailcolor and planted my toosh in the massage chair. This was the most intense massage chair I've sat in I think....it shook the bejeeez out of my girls and the belly fat they comfortably shade....But, awwww....it was heavenly. Not long after my LLL friends arrived. We caught up on the happenings over the course of the last month since we met over pedi's and mani's....Is there anything better, really?

Then we crossed the lot to Jack's for a yummy salad....and a few, ok, alot of garlic fries....SOOOO good. We chatted some more. Then ended up at the yogurt shop across the street to finish off the night.

When I got home the kiddos were all tucked in and fast asleep. The sitter left. I was alone!!! I can't describe how exciting that was for me!!!! What to do....I rented Mamma Mia on pay per view but fell asleep before I got too involved. I awoke at about 12:30 realizing that as much as I love being alone in the quiet during the daylight, I'm terrified of it in the middle of the night. I'm a girl that needs a man in her bed. But, that's a whole other sizzlin' post. I wasn't about to let my joyous day end in terror!! I did what any smart girl would do...I pulled that cute little Cameron right out of his bed and put him in mine. The joy of my day was complete with a little bedtime plead to God above for safety and protection throughout the night and my sweet little boyfriend to spoon. Hmmm....I love my life.

A New Week

Hmmm, I've got another confession. (I like to get things off my chest!) In addition to binge eating and not exercising I've been on a bit of a spending streak too. UGHHH, the guilt. Well, that's a lie. I've always felt that I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Does that make sense? My friend Molly refers to it as the good ole' Catholic guilt. I'm not Catholic. I'm a Mormon. But, my dad came from a Catholic family so I think not only do I have the Mormon guilt...I've inherited the Catholic guilt too. It's a double whammy! But, The guilt isn't what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about what I've been spending on. As much as I need to get myself in check, I admit I'm sooo elated about it. I ran out of my favorite Lancome moistuizer way back when....So, I got another. Chi-Ching! I also had run out of my favorite shampoo & conditioner, Pureology. Chi-Ching! I got my hair cut on Friday. Then I was at Target & they have some really cute stuff right now... I picked up a fabulous hat & denim jacket. After that trip I went to Red Bluff. The main intent was to take care of my Grandpa for the weekend. I ran over to a jewery show with my sister before my shift officially started. I came home with a lovely, plump bag of jewelry. Oh, and another hat! Chi-Ching! I stayed the night with Gramps and had a great weekend with my family. My mom, sister & I snuck down to Chico for a few hours to have a little get together with Patrice. That is when the food binging got bad. I had a stomach ache the rest of the day and into Sunday. But....I looked really cute in my new hats & earrings!!!

Now, Monday has arrived. The spending spree is DONE! It's to the gym and minimal eating for me. How wonderful it is to have a fresh start!

Lucky Me

Another St. Patty's Day gone. Monday I made the cake for our Irish tradition of eating the green cake w/ the phrase, "Lucky Us, We Have Each Other" written in frosting. Unfortunately, those awful little leprechauns got into it while I was sleeping. Hmmm, was it the dog, Bruce, or maybe the leprechauns really do exist? Spencer constructed the trap for the critters. They got away again. I think it might have been the sugar from the cake that spun them into overdrive and helped with the getaway! The cake destruction was a real bummer. I don't like to bake as it is. I'm certainly not going to bake the same cake twice. Plus, I had piano lessons at the house yesterday. No time for that amidst all the cleaning and stuff. Taylor & I ran to trusty Bel Air. They always have there bakery loaded with the holiday essentials. Nope. Not this time. I had to settle for cupcakes w/ white frosting & green sprinkles. Slightly festive in my opinion. But, it saved me from baking the second cake...and that is great! I roasted a corned beef brisket. Served it up with some cabbage, carrots & potatoes. It was good! I was looking forward to eating our Irish meal together once Bruce was back with the kids from baseball practice & my lessons were done. Nope. Bruce snuck in the kitchen, carved up my brisket & had the kids eat it in the car. So, I ate my celebratory feast alone. The cupcakes were a hit with the kids. I tried with all my might to get a great picture of us for my St. Patrick's Day album (& of course my blog). The picture wouldn't turn out with the timer on. Bruce was getting grouchier by the second waiting for me to figure it out. So, to save us all from certain mayhem, I let Bruce stretch is arm out for the good ole' do it yourself pose. I really want these things to go smooth so my family can have a wonderful memory of the holidays. How quickly I forget that when I married Bruce, I chose the life of luxury- Griswold style!! After the picture fiasco, we had a few minutes of pleasant conversation while we went around the table to tell why we are lucky to have our family. Here were the responses:

Cameron-(kept smiling and giggling) then said , "like Daddy to tickle me."
Taylor- "I like tickles too"
Spencer- "We have lots of toys." (He doesn't have that many....And usually complains about it!)
Mom- I always have someone to cuddle with.
Dad- Because there is so much love. ( I know he means this but I sure felt the sarcasm.)

Sometimes I wonder is I am the only wife & mother that has no control of her family. There is a constant whirlwind of chaos & mess. It's difficult while in the middle of the insanity to keep your sense of gratitude. Sometimes I have to force myself to pull back and quiet my mind so that I can feel the magnitude of all I'm blessed with. I am blessed to have this family. My kids are amazing little people. I love them more than I could ever describe. I'm even grateful for my simple husband. He is a wonderful person. My family is my life. And it is a life I am SO lucky to have.

Connections

I have this crazy thing with death.

I think about it alot. I've been planning my funeral since I was a kid...the song choices of changed a few times. I worry about my parents dying. I worry about my children dying. I worry that I might die. When I was still in Chico I would go to my Uncle Mark's grave and talk to him. Only when I was upset or feeling lost. I talk to my Grandma Boone still....it's weird, I know. Maybe this is why....

When I was born I had sooo many grandparents. On my mom's side, there was both of her parents & my great grandpa Winkler(my grandma's dad). On my dad's side, I had both of his parents. They were divorced so I also had Grandma Sally, who was married to my Grandpa. Then I had my Grandma Boone's mom, Grandma Koester & her husband, Dick. Also, her ex-husband, my dad's Grandpa Rettig was alive. I was probably around a year when Grandpa Rettig died so I have no memory of him. But, he was sure cute for being so short. I only have one memory of my Grandpa Winkler....him in his wheelchair. He was living with my Uncle Charlie(I think...maybe visiting?). He was very old & very cute & quiet. He never said a word but would hand me mints that he kept hidden behind his back. Then he died.

Great-Grandma Koester passed away after I was married. I never was close at all to her. Although I still have a ceramic doll she gave me when I was young. But, I remember her stories about the men in her life & whewwww, I thought I was boy crazy! Now I know where it comes from. I still had all 4 grandparents at that time so it never really crossed my mind that one day they would be gone. Then my Grandpa Boone & his wife were killed in a car crash. This was so very difficult for me...especially for my dad & his siblings. The thing with my Grandpa Boone, in my eyes, was that he was the most wonderful man in the world and never knew it. I guess in actuality, we were never close either. I could count on 1 hand how many times I remember seeing him in my whole life. But there has always been a deep connection to him. I can't describe it but I'm bonded to him just as if I'd spent my life with him always there. It's long and complicated and doesn't really matter much now. But, when he died, I felt this awful sickness. I was so upset wondering if he knew that I didn't care about his past. I didn't judge him. I didn't have to forgive him of anything because he didn't do anything to me. I felt like I was the one person in his life, that had spent their entire life, completely in love with him. I think he knows this now.

Just a couple years ago, my Grandma Boone got cancer. The whole thing is still a blur and much to long and emotional of a story to repeat. I was very close to her growing up. She was the grandparent that everyone poked fun at. Not maliciously...all in fun. She sort of set herself up for it with her big loud voice and opinions. When she died , I got to be there. Not the moment she died but I was in my sister's home and was there. I'm so grateful for that experience. It is by far the most treasured memory I have with her. I thought her naggy voice and sharp comments wouldn't be missed....I was wrong. I can't believe I'm admitting this....but the older I get the more of her I see in myself. It's true. I miss her all the time. I dream about her. I can still picture myself when I was little staying the night at her house. She would tell that she was going to bite my nose off & sit on me if I didn't get my elbows off the table and scoot my chair in properly. I hated it! But I laugh my butt off now thinking back to how wonderful it was!

My Grandma & Grandpa Watts are still here. Sometimes I think barely. I've been going to Red Bluff to stay with them for a weekend about once a month. I love hearing stories from my Grandma about her mother, her losses, her life. She has an amazing life story and has been through so much. I love to remember our times out on the highway. Picking berries, dressing up with her hats & wigs, & playing the organ with her. I help my Grandpa with whatever he needs, which is everything. He tells me his crazy stories about how Barack has a hitman out to kill him or that he's got to retire before "they fire him." The stories constantly change. Last time he told me all about his girlfriend, who's father owns the toothpaste factory. He was mad she ran off with another guy and married him. He's so much fun that way. But then, just when I think he's completely lost, he looks at me and says, "Tanja, I'm sorry you have to help you're old grandpa like this." To which I reply, "Don't be sorry, I like to do it because I love you." His response is,"I know. Everything I've ever done for you is because I love you so much." And there we sit, him on the toilet, me next to him on the walker. Holding hands. Then we go to his bed where I tuck him nice and tight with the blankets all the way around his chin, just the way he likes it. I know my time with them is running short. That's a real bummer.

I don't really understand how it is that I connect the most when they're gone or nearly gone. I guess the realization of there mortality awakens something inside of me. There is this intangible link between us. It binds us to one another. These loved ones of mine have each made me a little bit of who I am. I feel like a need a time capsule to capture all of the wisdom and love that they have given me. I believe that what I am missing by having lost them, will be regained when we are reunited, and I do believe we will be. And for now, I cherish every moment.

Santa Made it After All!

For the past 10 years we've maintained a strict Christmas schedule. Christmas Eve is with Bruce's family. As soon as we're done, we load up our stuff, dogs and now Kids, too and drive in the nasty fog to Red Bluff. We get there around 1am. Wake up around 6am to check stockings with the little kids. And just when we're ready to crawl back in bed for a few more hours, the whole family is up and ready to go. I've been adamant about doing this for a few reasons. Well, 2 really. 1- Bruce has a hard time getting up in the morning for anything other than work or hunting. 2- I have brothers and sisters that are so much younger than me and I want them to have memories of me being a part of their Christmas morning. I'm afraid they won't think of me as there sister if we don't have shared memories like that. So, we continue to do this...All my friends tell me I'm crazy for doing it this way. I've never cared. Until this year. It might have been that Magnum has become horribly nuts without Buddy and I don't want to deal with him at my parents. It could be because I really want a chance of losing the Christmas morning bags under the eyes...A little of both I guess. I decided that this year we would sleep in our own beds, have Santa come to our house and then go to Red Bluff. It figures that once I decide to change this of my own free will I am forced into it due to car trouble. Whatever way it happened is fine. I loved having my first Christmas morning alone with Bruce and our kids. I'm so happy to have my own family to share these traditions with. Bruce borrowed his mom's car so that we could go to Red Bluff Christmas Day and be with my family. That was so wonderful of her. As it turned out, we were able to have a great Christmas after all!
P.S. I did get a really great hot chocolate maker with lots of yummy gourmet chocolate. THAT was fabulous!

Christmas Eve at the Anderson's

The Anderson's is always our spot for Christmas Eve. It's the place where you never know what may happen. So, I come armed with stilettos and a large purse. (I'm joking, it just came to me and sounded so Godfatherish I had to say it.) This year was no exception. When it came time to leave, still having been uneventful...we thought, "What a wonderful holiday it was." That feeling lasted about 2 seconds after Bruce went to start the car and it sounded like a gun went off under our hood and smoke came out and once again...I related the Anderson's family Christmas to a mafia movie. The kids instantly burst into tears..."Now we'll have no Christmas!! Santa will skip our house...This sucks, Mom!" I'm thinking to myself, they have no idea how badly this sucks...Merry Christmas, Tanja. Santa didn't get you you're IPod or the make-up or anything fabulous...Just a broken down car, a fat bill to pay because of it and 3 crabby, crying kids. Now we've come full circle, right smack into a Griswold family Christmas. We caught a ride home awhile later from Bruce's sister. I put the kids to bed around 11:30pm, got ready for Santa and made to bed around 12:45. Not bad.

Christmas Happenings

So what if I'm behind in my posting....I've got stuff going on. I do have alot I want to post...not much time to do it in. So, this may come in increments...I'll start with the Eve of Christmas Eve. Bruce & I have a tradition that we go look at Christmas lights the night before Christmas Eve. Growing up this was something I loved doing with my dad & my siblings. We can't do it on the actual Christmas Eve now because that is the Anderson Family Christmas. The same way, Christmas Day is to my family(the Boone's). Hence, we do it on the Eve of Christmas Eve. We all are geared up in our PJ's...we pack a thermos of hot chocolate. We load the CD changer with Christmas tunes and we're off for one of the greatest nights of the year.

Advent Calendar

If you're interested in the sock calendar, here are the activities I have in mine:

1st-Decorate the house
2nd-Get the tree
3rd-Decorate the tree
4th-Make paper chains for the kids room
5th-Ward Christmas Party
6th-Make Gingerbread Houses
7th-Go to the Messiah performance
8th-Caroling Rehearsal
9th- Watch Christmas movies
10th-Make Christmas Gifts
11th-Christmas Storybook Night
12th-Polar Express Night
13th-Apple Hill
14th-Make Christmas Goodies
15th-Deliver Goodies to Friends/Neighbors
16th-Write letters to Santa
17th-Have a family over for dinner & Christmas movie
18th-Family sing-a-long night
19th-Dinner Party
20th-Last minute shopping day
21st-Caroling at Senior home
22nd-Read Story of Jesus' birth & make Reindeer Food
23rd-Annual drive to look at Christmas lights in our PJ's w/ thermos of Hot Chocolate & Christmas carols blasting
24th-Go to Grandma Anderson's for dinner & gift exchange
25th-Christmas Day w/ Grandpa & Grandma Boone

Some of my friends included doing the 12 Days of Christmas, Making Wrapping Paper, Christmas Cards, etc. You can make mail Christmas cards a task for the day. Keep it simple...The point is to alleviate the stress of the season so that our homes can be filled with peace to focus on the real reason we celebrate: the birth of our Savior.

Welcome, December!

We're home from RB. I really had a great time. The day after Thanksgiving, I went shopping w/ my mom, my sister, & my sister Sarah & my sister, Stevie(yes, she's named after Stevie Nicks & it's a good story for later.)We are not the early riser type so we didn't get out until 10 or so. It's Red Bluff, so we started at the major shopping spot in town, Wal-Mart. I got some $4 pajamas for the kids. Whoopee!! We headed up to the Anderson outlets. Gymboree got me. Those kid stores really know how to trap me without much effort. Then we went to Maurice's. I swear, my narcissism was at a peak in the dressing room. I'm seriously angered that I didn't think to take pictures because I had such a fabulous time there. I do feel bad for my sisters and mom that sat so solemnly while I paraded myself around the dressing room like I thought I was a rock star. My mom, she's the greatest, got me an early present and those of you that saw me at church know how smashing it was. (Again, I didn't take a picture...but I will of that dress because it's fabulous.) Here's a picture of us in the car...Sarah didn't make it in.
Saturday night, my mom & dad took Bruce & I to dinner. We had ribs,(again so fitting for Red Bluff)really great ribs I might add. No kids. Then we went to the Christmas parade downtown. Now this is no Macy's Day parade...this is in true RB fashion, Mexican's in low riders and a whole lot of tractors and cowboys in big trucks. I really love hanging out with my mom & pops.

But now we are home, so,it's time to get busy...laundry, laundry and more laundry. A little bit of dusting and....Yeah! It's Christmas time. I will be spending the rest of today decorating. My Christmas carols are already playing. I went to Starbucks this morning to get my grande hot chocolate w/ whip. Today is the day to go (RED) at Starbucks. I've actually been going there alot lately. I got a $40 giftcard from the soccer coaches for being the team mom. Another disorder I may have...A $40 giftcard in hand and I suddenly feel like a pimp at Starbucks! Spencer got up early to cut out snowflakes for each of his classmates. He's very thoughtful that way. My first thing to go up in my home was my advent calendar, of sorts. It's actually socks strung using a long piece of ribbon and clothespins. Each sock if filled with a treat and a "to-do today item". For instance, today the treat was 3 hershey's kisses and a paper that says decorate the house. So, not only do my children get the normal tasty surprise to help countdown the day until Christmas, I get to maintain my sanity by having all the Christmas stuff scheduled. Only 1 thing a day, that's easy! One day will be making Gingerbread houses. Another will be making reindeer food. The next might be Christmas movie night. It's all very exciting....This whole wonderful thing was a live, laugh, love project. My friend, Ashley, started this tradition in our club and I love her for it!
I'm proofing this post before publishing and I can't help but get a kick out of myself. I'm a bonafied nut job...(No offense to anyone mentally or emotionally challenged in any way...I refer only to myself as a nut job.)

Thanksgiving Favs Vol. 4

A few years back I started the tradition of the Gratitude Tree during the month of November. This is another LLL thing. I ask everyone who comes into my home during the month to write something they are grateful for on a leaf and then hang it on our tree. And then at Thanksgiving dinner, I have all who are gathered together write on a leaf. We read the leaves together and have so much fun laughing and feeling thanks. I'm so sad my tree will soon be put away until next year.

Thanksgiving Favs Vol. 2

Another favorite, is Apple Hill. There's nothing like the fall colors in higher elevation with a carload of whiny kids covered in pie & chocolate to make you feel grateful for what you have at home. Today I went with my 3 kiddos, my friend, Mindy & her 2 little boys.

I always love the local vendors and crafters. I wait in the 30 minute line for my overpriced pie. We love the pony rides. It is all so wonderful. Jokes aside, it really truly is a Thanksgiving favorite for our family...and it's pretty great in December, too.


You can see how much fun we have trying to get a "good" picture.

It's a Wonderful Life...

I have spent alot of time feeling alone or isolated emotionally. This afternoon I see how foolish I am. Friday after school, Bruce went hunting with a friend. I was actually happy to see him go because I started reading "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" by David Wroblewski. I like alot of alone time when I have stuff like that going on. I also was watching my friend's 2 kids while she & her hubby went out on a much needed date. I got no reading done that night since Cameron was at an all-time mischief high. By the time my friend picked up her kids my back was killing me from holding that sweet little newborn.(A reminder that I cannot handle having another child anytime soon)Bruce came home for a brief moment to show me the deer in the back of my car that his friend got. It was very exciting for us. He went over to his friend's house, where they cleaned & cut it up...

I slept great that night...Woke up in the morning to go to a very exciting soccer game for Spencer. The whole family went which made me so happy. Spencer's team lost as they seem to always do but they played better then they have before and it was quite fun to cheer them on. After the game, I took Taylor for a date w/ Mom. We went to my dear friend, Molly's home, for a yarn sale. OH MY!! Ladies, please learn to knit. It's so great. I feel so empowered while knitting. I'm creating this wonderful piece to warm and comfort someone I love and all the while armed with dangerous weaponry(THE NEEDLES AND YARN) If Bruce gives me any lip while I'm knitting, he could be a goner if wanted him to be. Anyhow, I got alot of fabulous threads for practically nothing. We went over to watch my sister, Stevie, play in a volleyball tourney and then we had lunch at El Palmar. One of my favorite things about my daughter is that she shares my love of beans and rice. Gotta love her. We met up with Bruce at Home Depot to get wood for the treehouse that Bruce and Spencer are building together. (Isn't that sweet!) I took a very short nap and did a little cleaning. Then Bruce took Spencer and went our for another hunt. I got a babysitter and went to dinner with my friend, Megan. Her hubby was hunting with Bruce. We had great food at California Pizza Kitchen. I was excited since Bruce never wants to eat there. I came home, put Tay & Cameron to bed and enjoyed my book until Bruce came home. It was late...but we got to talking and then we started reading a book "Rock Solid Relationships" by Wendy Watson together. I've read it before and liked it and mentioned that I thought it would be a good one to read together. He agreed so at midnight, we read.

Today I made pancakes with strawberries for breakfast, chicken salad sandwiches for lunch, and have a venison roast in the crockpot for dinner that will be served with winter squash and apple mash, and mixed greens. All from my Friday delivery. I've been watching the General Conference on TV that our chuch has twice a year. It was so great this time. I felt so much hope and comfort. As I watched I knit. Then Henry B. Eyring began talking about being knit together in unity. I was so inspired I finished one scarf and started another that is halfway done. I share all these boring details of my weekend only to say that I have so many wonderful things and wonderful people in my life. The things that are missing seem huge at times, but I have a great life without them so doesn't that speak volumes about how little I really need those things? I love my husband and my children. I have great parents. More brothers and sisters than I can keep track of. I love my filthy little home. I have great friends. It really is wonderful being me.

Honestly...October has Arrived

It's the 1st of October, finally! I've many fun things to share. Last October, we took the kid to Bishop's Pumpkin Farm in Wheatland. This has become a beloved family tradition. It's so festive and quaint. You go and enjoy hot cider and pumpkin pie. The kids play on the many attractions. We take the train ride through the acres and acres of land. And, we pick pumpkins. Going back to last year, the kids each picked a small pumpkin to keep and then Bruce & I picked out a huge pumpkin for the whole family to enjoy. We went home, carved them up and had a great time. Little did we know, that sweet little Spencer, had some plans of his own to grow pumpkins the next year. Fast forward to a few months back...Bruce was out in the front yard and noticed a strange squash like sprout. We discovered that a pumpkin patch was growing. When we brought the kids out to see our discovery, Spencer said,"Um, yeah guys. Last year when you told me to throw away the pumpkin seeds I didn't. I planted them in the yard so we could grow pumpkins." He had that "you all are dummies" tone in his voice. So here we are...we have a wonderful pumpkin patch to enjoy. Now that October is here, we can pick them!Yeah!


My next October favorite has to do with my Live, Laugh, Love Club. Each month we have a value that correlates to the holiday in that month. October is Halloween. We wear costumes or disguises to have fun. However, in real life, we tend to wear similiar disguises without always realizing it. We may be dishonest or hide who we really are or how we really feel because it's uncomfortable or because of other fears. Hence, we teach the value of honesty in October. It is, of course, about not lying or stealing or cheating. It's also about being honest with ourselves and in our relationships. We do a take-home tradition each month. It's a little activity that becomes a family tradition but also aids in teaching the monthly value. We use these adorable pumpkins. You have 2 kinds. The happy face and the sad or "disgruntled" face. You have a discussion with the family about allowing each other to share our honest feelings, especially in situations that are difficult. It could be when you did something wrong and need to own up to it. It could be if your husband hurts your feelings and you're afraid of his reaction if you tell him. It could be that you have a hard time sharing intimate feeling vocally and you feel the need to tell a loved one how much they mean to you and need a little help. Whatever it is good or bad, you pick the pumpkin face appropriate for the situation. Give it to the person you need to be honest with. Receiving the pumpkin is the clear signal to sit down, open your heart and mind, and KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Give this person the respect and opportunity to share their honest feeling understanding that this is hard for them. You can put the pumpkins in a cute fall bowl or jar. It doesn't matter. We do this activity every October, all month long. Honestly communicating my feelings has been a struggle for me most of my life. It's one of the most important things for me to teach my children and so it is my favorite of all the months. Here are the cute pumpkins, this year made by my fellow Live, Laugh, Lover and friend, Molly.

Last, the project that we did as a group last night was so cute. We got the idea from our dear friend, Martha Stewart. They are clipboards, a cute system for decluttering and displaying those incidental papers...Misc. artwork, photos, lists, etc. I will be hanging mine in my kids bedroom. Presently, all 3 share a bedroom. So this will work out nicely. They are so simple to do. If I ever want to move them to a new home, I can easily cut and glue new paper to back them with so they will match any decor. Molly gets credit for these too. She was our lovely hostess last night. (The risotto was amazing, too!Thanks Molly!)

I wish all of you an October full of treasured family gatherings and traditions, great food galore, and a new resolve to always be HONEST! Much love to my friends and fam!

T-

My Foreman

Last month Bruce was made a foreman at work. He recently was given the "blue" hard hat which set him apart on the jobsite as the "man". He's been taping with the union for almost 11 years now so he was very excited. We had fun playing around with the hard hat the day he received it...He says I'm the ham of the family. You can clearly see by the way he's showing off his big guns that he likes a turn at it every now and then. Congrats Bruce!!! I'm so proud of you!

Our Easter Pics

This year we celebrated Easter on Saturday in Red Bluff, at my parent's house. My mom went crazy with stuff for the kids, which they loved. We did crafts, games, dyed eggs & hunted for them, cupcake decorating and ate tons of food.
















My Grandpa Watts' 2 sisters were visiting. I haven't seen them since I was a kid. Matt(my Brother), Patrice(my sis), & Jaydon(her son) came up from Chico. Chris (my brother)& Ashley(his wife) came from Redding and of course, Sarah(my sis), Trevor(her hubby) & Danyelle(their dtr) from across town. We had a great visit and came home with very enlarged bellies!